Can you proof read this?… constructive criticism is very much appreciated..?

The Reconstruction of the Civil War
Reconstruction at this point in time was the single most important thing in this era. Not only did President Johnson have to worry about uniting the union but he also had to think about the 3.5 million freed slaves living in the south. This plan for reconstruction gives people from both sides the satisfaction of being a part of their government.
In this point in time there were over 3 million freed slaves living in the south, without jobs and many without homes. After war, reconstruction of property and the economy always need to take place. Therefore the government can start with rebuilding the roads and railroads, by hiring former slaves to do the jobs so African Americans that do not want to end up working under the same conditions can do something else; doing this will help the south gain the economic stability it had before the Civil War. Protecting freemen is a large concern for the government, but in order for them to be safe in the future it is important for them to be treated as equally as whites now, but if violence were to occur between any of the races a fair trial would be held.
The south cannot survive on its own during this time, so it can return to the union under some conditions.
•The south must accept, follow, and enforce the 14th and 15th amendment.(citizenship, voting rights)
•Confederate followers must sign a treaty stating their oath of allegiance to the union. (It must have at least 30% vote.)
In return the southern states that seceded will all be pardoned except high ranking military leaders and men holding a position in the government. These individuals will be charged with treason and will be able to plead their case in court. If states do not abide by these laws they will not be allowed to do the following: import and export goods, travel, keep land and goods.
If the people on trial for treason are found guilty then their land will be taken by the government and it shall be distributed among the families that worked on those plantations. (A percentage of the land shall be kept by the family of the owner.)
Everyone deserves a second change although it may not seem like it. Reconstruction in the south took years after the war and still today others argue the actions taken by the American government, but although one can create a new reconstruction plan it is hard to tell it would work in those days. As a nation we need to make mistakes, it is part of learning, growing up, and perfecting our society.

One Response to “Can you proof read this?… constructive criticism is very much appreciated..?”

  1. lawlman91 Says:

    Alright, the first sentence should start off as: "At this point in time, Reconstruction…" Because, "Reconstruction at this point in time" is too jumpy. In the third sentence, you say, "This plan for reconstruction…" I can’t make up what the plan is. When you say "this", I can’t tell what you’re pointing to. "In this point in time there were…" using "point in time" again is repetitive. "…over 3 million freed slaves living in the south," I thought it was 3.5 million freed slaves. And we already know that there are 3 million+ slaves; you don’t have to mention it again in such a short span of words. For the rest of the paragraph, flow your topics. "…without jobs and many without homes. After war, reconstruction of property and the economy always need to take place." One moment you’re talking about slaves and the next you talk about reconstruction. For better flow, I suggest you change the order of ideas: Freed slaves were poor… -> …they were hired by the government to reconstruct… -> …because reconstruction always needs to take place after wars.

    I could go on, but it’s your paper. A paper should:
    1) Have a point
    2) Have smooth transition
    3) Not be repetitive
    4) Be clear